|Life is So Hard When You Can't Find Your Ball|
MOM: Milo, let's go walkies.
MILO: WALKIES? REALLY? OH BOY, OH BOY, WALKIES! I'M SOOOO EXCITED! I'M GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK! WALKIEEEESSSSS. YAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!
MOM: Milo, it's not that big a deal. We do it every day. It's only a walk up and down the block.
MILO: I CAN'T CONTAIN MYSELF! I DON'T KNOW WHY, I JUST GOTTA RUN IN CIRCLES AND BARK AND CRY! Help me, Mom....
MOM: Ok, come here and I'll put your leash on.
MILO: I'm trying, Mom, I really am, but my body keeps racing around. I can't stop it.....ok, I'm under control. I'm standing still, but I still have to cry just a little. It's so wonderful, Mom.
MOM: Milo, I really don't get it, but I'm glad it makes you so happy. Now I'm opening the door. Wait until I say "COME." I can't have you drag me down the stairs like you did last time.
Mom goes outside and down to the bottom of the stairs as Milo stays stiffly and obediently at the top, waiting for the "come" command.
MOM: Ok, Milo, COME!
Milo races down the stairs, passes Mom, and as he hits the end of the leash, Mom goes flying thru the air.
MOM: MILO!!! WAIT!!! One of these days you're gonna kill me.
MILO: Sorry, Mom.
MOM: Ok, now let's have a nice calm walk. Don't drag me down the street, and don't bark at our neighbors. They already think you're a lunatic.
MILO: Me? Uh oh. I see a nasty person coming.
MOM: She's not nasty, Milo, she's a very nice lady.
MILO: NO! She looks suspicious! She's gonna attack you, Mom, I know it!! "BARK, BARK, BARK, LUNGE, LUNGE"
MOM: MILO STOP IT!!!!! I'm so sorry, Mrs. Patel. He's really a very nice dog.
MILO: She was gonna attack you Mom!
MOM: Milo, this is a nice 87 year old Indian lady. She's not going to attack me. Geez, you've gotta learn to be more discriminating.
MILO: She WAS Mom. And look! There's a vicious pack of wild animals with a giant alpha leader in front!
MOM: Milo, that's a kindergarden class with their teacher. Leave them alone.
MILO: They have weapons, Mom!
MOM: Milo, those are lunchboxes.
MILO: I'm gonna bark at them.
MOM: No!! Heel!!
MOM: Milo, HEEL!!
MILO: Ok, if I gotta......Mom, you take all the fun out of walkies.
MOM: Yeah, and I'm having a ball too.
With thanks to Milo,
"It's 7:00 AM. Walkies!"
"Milo Meets Santa"
"Bath Time for Milo"
"I Really Could Make Money..if.."
"How NOT to Train Your Dog"
"Milo. 8 Weeks Old. A Flashback"
"Milo Moves to Tucson, Arizona"